While "pura vida" is a catchphrase here, I have found myself adapting to this Costa Rican way of life, slowly melding its attributes with those of my own lifestyle. In general, the Costa Rican population is much more laid back: Tico Time, for example, is common, and they are not in a rush to check everything off a gigantic to-do list. Dinners are longer, and time with family is relished. I have yet to notice fierce competition for high grades or exorbitant earnings. While I am sure those phenomena do exist, I have had the luxury of experiencing the calmer side of life in Costa Rica. In addition, I am not nearly as busy here as I am in the United States. I juggle classes, a job, club cross country, and both attend and lead a bible study at the University of Pittsburgh, and I always seem to be rushing from one activity to the next. While here in Costa Rica, I have had the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and become more self-aware than I have ever been. It has honestly been one of the most liberating experiences of my life thus far.
There are a few specific discoveries I have made while here in Costa Rica, and while I am sad it has taken me nearly twenty years (yes, I celebrate two decades of life next Saturday!) to realize these things, I am glad I realized them now rather than even later down the road. I have realized that I need to live a pure, authentic life.
What exactly does an "authentic life" mean? Not to go terribly deep into philosophical thought on a blog reserved for my adventures here in Costa Rica, I will provide you with a short description of how I interpret the authentic life. An authentic life is one lived without fear of the unknown. For years and years, I lived by the rule "better safe than sorry". And while that is appropriate in many situations, (for example when it comes to forgoing the bakery cake because of the potential presence of life-threatening allergens, no matter how much my sweet tooth is kicking in) taking chances, testing limits, and exploring are a normal, natural part of life. They are part of the experience, part of what makes each person unique.
For years and years, I have lived in fear of failure, in fear of developing ailments such as cancer or heart disease, and in fear of upsetting others. In reality though, failure is part of the process to achieve success. Thomas Edison tested thousands of ways to make a lightbulb before he figured it out. Cancer and heart disease, while certain habits can aid in their development, cannot be altogether prevented simply by a healthy diet and regular physical activity; genetics, over which I have absolutely no control, play an enormous part as well. And upsetting others, well, that is their choice. Obviously that does not mean I will no longer have any respect for the opinions and lives of others; rather, it means that I will approach my life in terms of what will make me happy and allow me to thrive, and use those things (rather than what other people suggest) to help others. Someone once told me that God puts desires in our hearts in order for us to help others. I really like that. God gives us the longing to pursue certain paths--such as becoming a nurse or having children--in order to best serve the world. I had never really thought about it in that perspective before, but I believe it fully.
What my time in Costa Rica has helped me see is that I do not need to be an uptight, strictly ordered, industrious person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in order to be happy, in order to make a difference, in order to be of value. Coming to a foreign country where I did not know the language (although I would like to say it is much better now!), did not eat the same foods, had a vastly different lifestyle, and knew absolutely no one was terrifying at first. I was very homesick, and while I still do miss home and the associated creature comforts there, I have developed an independent lifestyle and determined how to best balance myself for these ten weeks.
In the beginning of my time here, I would chastise myself for drinking coffee and taking lengthy naps just to get through the day. But those were what I needed at the time; as an introvert, constantly meeting new people and speaking a different language was positively exhausting. I came to realize that I should not be ashamed of what I needed, but simply recognize and appreciate that those attributes are what make me ME! Now I get up at 5:30 to run every morning, enjoy my coffee, and take naps if that is what my body is asking for. I go out some nights, but no longer feel guilty about staying in because I am simply too tired or want a break. I have come to embrace trying new things (salsa and merengue dancing, for example) and living a looser lifestyle. Not every moment is planned out anymore, but I enjoy that! I have begun to obtain a sense of freedom I never knew existed!
Learning to live without fear is something I have begun to do and will continue to strive for as I finish my time in Costa Rica and head back home. But that is not all that I have learned here. I have realized, through my struggles to adjust here, that my independence is a strength I possess. This ability to survive, even when I am struggling, is impressive, and I can use this to fuel future goals. I always wanted to travel, to learn Spanish, to be me. Now, in a foreign country 2,000 miles from home, I am finally realizing those dreams. All by myself. I made it happen. My ability to overcome the initial culture shock, language barrier, and other differences have increased my confidence level significantly. I do not doubt myself nearly as much as in the past, and I take pride in what I do instead of trying to hide in embarrassment. I embrace being me.
The confidence I have gained over the past six and a half weeks has inspired me to pursue other goals, rather than saying "someday I will do this" or "once I graduate, I will do that", because we all know that I would probably continue to push off those goals, and they may or may not actually be accomplished. Realistically I know I cannot attack every single bucket list item at once (yes, the practical side of me is coming out!), but I also know I do not need a college degree to make great things happen. Many famous people have showed us that. I have proved that I can multitask, so why not multitask while pursuing my dreams? Some of my dreams are to run a marathon, to have a family, and to travel to every continent. But honestly, those are not all entirely practical right now.
I believe that one of my goals, however, is attainable right now with some dedication and hard work. I have always dreamed of owning a bakery, café, or restaurant, and with an abundance of locally owned sodas (restaurants), panaderías (bakeries), and other family businesses here in Costa Rica, I have been inspired to make my dreams a reality. I have seen many people I know back in the states also have success in their small-business ventures, and I cannot help but ask, "Why not me? Why not now?" Thus, my bakery was born.
In my free time here, I have been brainstorming dozens of ideas for my vision of The Bread Factory (disclaimer: this name may or may not change). The emphasis of my bakery would be on allowing patrons to customize their bread in terms of its flour (whole wheat, white, etc.), flavoring (banana, pumpkin, or zucchini, anyone?), mix-ins (such as chocolate chips or sun-dried tomatoes), and toppings (including chocolate drizzle and sea salt with cracked pepper) in order to create the perfect loaf for any occasion. Although the details are nowhere near finalized, look for more information to come in the near future about what will happen with my bread shop once I am back stateside.
So, despite the fact that I still have three and a half weeks in this beautiful country, I would like to take the opportunity to say, "Thank you, Costa Rica! You have helped me to love life and to love myself. You have helped to give me the courage and confidence to pursue my dreams."
And since we all know you probably clicked on this hoping to see recent photos, here is one of my new housemates, Rosie and Raina, and me! During our break from class, we took the opportunity to take and have coffee together!
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| Rosemary, me, and Raina! |
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